Body image is tough. We’re inundated with images and expectations and diet information all of the time. Although it’s challenging, we can work to shift our mindset to drop the negativity around our body image.
The Trap
We’ve all been there — you’re mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and a picture of a tall, gorgeous, stick-thin Victoria’s Secret model appears on your Instagram feed. You click on her profile and the next thing you know 30 minutes have passed and you’ve Instagram-stalked five models who must be from the Amazon or some other planet and you feel like total crap about yourself. You were just innocently scrolling the Internet and now you’re telling yourself that you need to go to the gym for at least one hour tomorrow and that you’re going to have a salad for dinner and definitely no dessert. It’s a vicious cycle that you can easily fall into even though it’s a bunch of rubbish. Here’s the thing — it’s those models jobs to look like that. They have hours to devote to the gym, great genetics and a team to make them look ~flawless~. I think that they’re all beautiful and I’m happy for their success, but my issue is that these ads and images can make the rest of us feel like poo. Our societal standards are completely unobtainable and ridiculous. Here we are busting our butts everyday to go to work or school full-time, and/or take care of a family, try to prepare and eat nutritious food, attempt to schedule in some time to be active, clean the house, fold the laundry, try to maintain some sort of social life, maybe enjoy a hobby or two, or read a book… Guys, the list goes on and on.
It’s physically impossible to maintain those standards, especially while honoring our beautiful, messy lives and truly taking care of ourselves. Caping your calorie intake at 1,200 calories per day is not loving your body. Our bodies are meant to be fed and moved, but not obsessively. Forcing yourself to spend hours on the elliptical or saying no to dinner with friends or turning down one of your grandma’s brownies because you don’t have enough calories left in the day is only going to deplete you. There is so much more to get from life! Skipping out on laughing with my friends to spend an hour on the elliptical? No thanks. I’ve been there and I definitely don’t want to go back. At the end of my life, I’m never going to look back and pat myself on the shoulder for that extra round of cardio I did but I sure as hell will be smiling remembering my grandma’s brownies and all the fun I had with my best friends.
Honoring What Matters
What’s sad is that we are only this critical to ourselves (unless you’re an Internet troll — if so peace out). When I think of all the people I love, look up to and want to surround myself with, it’s never because of their appearance. Think about it, when is the last time you thought, “I just love being around Jane Doe because she’s so skinny!” Or “If I could have dinner with one person dead or alive it would be with Joan Doe because she has a killer six pack!” Maybe I’m wrong, but I’d place a pretty heavy bet that that’s not the case. You love to be around your friend because she’s hilarious, makes you think, is the best listener or has supported you through your lowest points — not because she fits into a size two jeans. (If she does you can still love her anyways 😉 ) I don’t look up to my role models because they hit the gym seven days a week. I look up to them because they’ve made an impact on my heart and consistently better the lives of those around them. They make me want to be better, kinder, more giving, more nurturing and take life less seriously. I have never wanted to be friends with someone because of the way they look. And hey, I have a lot of thin friends who love living an active, balanced life, which is totally rad, but it’s not the reason I keep them around. My point is that if only we could look at ourselves they way we look at our friends, sisters, role models, moms, grandmoms…with utmost love and respect, none of it revolving around the number on a scale.
Dropping the Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk can be a dangerous trap to fall into. We’re all prone to it — men, women, young, old. Self-doubt and negative thoughts don’t discriminate against anyone. It may sound taboo, but anyone who looks at social media or a magazine or watches TV is most likely flooded with images of thin, fit, beautiful people. We’re surrounded by unachievable societal standards, so of course some days we feel like crap. The real work comes in identifying that feeling and nipping it in the bud right away. When I see an image of a super fit person or just look in the mirror and think “blah,” I’m challenging myself to stop the talk right then and there. We all have days where we don’t feel our best but we can always control how we talk to ourselves. Instead of seeing your body as something to fit into a dress, see it for all that it does — keeps you alive, allows you to hold a cute baby (or birth one!!), lets you double over from laughing so hard, eat a delicious piece of cake or lets you read this blog 🙂 . Your body supports you endlessly. Take a look in the mirror, tell yourself you’re beautiful (you are), but more importantly that you’re smart, funny, kind and pretty freaking awesome.
I hope this doesn’t come off as a rant — I just realized how it made me feel when I imagined my friends or sister making themselves feel as crappy as I did after seeing silly Instagram posts. If you read this post, you know I’ve been reflecting on a lot this year and really trying to hone in on what truly matters in my life. I want you to know that I’m here for you. I care about you and think you’re awesome. And I could care less about what size your jeans are.
Sending you lots of love.
Morgan
Note: If you are struggling with body image or an eating disorder, please seek help or reach out to a doctor.