Yesterday morning, I really worked myself up. I got stressed out about things working out with my new apartment, frustrated with things not going as planned at work, and worried about packing and getting things done before heading to a work trip in Louisiana. I know that these aren’t very serious issues or particularly challenging. I know that I’m lucky to be able to rent an apartment, to have a job and be able to travel, but my mind quickly spiraled out of control. And that’s the way anxiety normally works for me. It begins slowly, a little worry here and there, and then my mind weaves an entire web detailing everything that is going to go wrong. “Why did I think this would work out?” “I should have triple checked that before I sent it.” “This is going to be a disaster.” Negative self-talk immediately seeps in. I make myself feel naive and foolish. And I worry about every single bad scenario that “could” occur. UGH.
When this happened on Monday, I really couldn’t get my mind to stop. If you read this post about my anxiety, you know I’ve gotten a much better handle on it over the past few years. But I was deep in the weeds. My heart was racing, I couldn’t think straight, and I knew I needed to do something to calm myself down. Depending on the severeness of the anxiety, I have a few ways I to help me cope with it.
1. Go outside
This one is particularly helpful when I’m at work. I work in a grey cube all day, and despite my effort at brightening it with some cheerful decorations, it’s not very glamorous. If it’s a busy day in the office and I’m tuned into my work, not socializing with coworkers or moving around much, it can start to feel like those little walls are closing in on me. When I start to feel claustrophobic in my cube or overwhelmed by my work, I try to step away from my desk, even if it’s just for five minutes, and go for a little walk outside. Thank God it’s finally above 20 degrees and I can do this more often! Being in nature and breathing fresh air helps me calm down. I leave my phone at my desk so I can really focus on looking up and at what’s around me.
2. Take a Few Deep Breaths
This is my go-to when I start to feel anxious. Sometimes it does the trick and other times I need to do something more, but never underestimate the power of a few, deep breaths. Deep breathing calms down the nervous system. I also really enjoy it because it brings me out of my mind and into my body. When I really focus on my breathing, I don’t have room for those anxious thoughts. I know focusing on your breathing can be easier said than done when you’re panicking, but this YouTube video is helpful if you have a hard time staying with your breath.
3. Call or Text Someone
Let’s be real here — sometimes you just need someone to tell you that it’s going to be okay. Because it is all going to be okay. When anxiety has its hold on you, it can be difficult to remember that it WILL all work out, so have someone else tell you that. Call that person you trust, tell them what you are feeling. Sometimes it just takes saying it out loud to realize that it isn’t as big of a deal as your mind has made it out to be. Last week, I called my mom and dad multiple times. I was freaking out about adult things I needed to handle and I really did just need them to listen and talk things through with me. If I’m at work, I’ll text my boyfriend, “I’m freaking out about X.” And he typically tells me that it’s going to work out and not to worry. Sometimes that’s all I need to hear! It’s easy to make ourselves feel shameful and embarrassed about anxiety, but the people in your life love you and (probably) don’t think you’re a crazy person 😉 It’s taken me a long time to be vulnerable about what I’m going through, and I wish I would have started doing it sooner.
4. Do something that makes you happy
Go do “your thing.” Go to yoga. Get a coffee. Turn on the new Cardi B album and dance it out. Go for a run. Read a book. Paint. Bake cupcakes (then bring some to me). If it makes you smile and gets you out of your head, make time for it. Seriously, prioritize that sh*t! We all could use some more of what makes us happy. Caution: if bingeing Netflix makes you happy, try to pick one of your other hobbies. I have fallen into the trap of throwing myself into a Grey’s Anatomy or SVU marathon, but that never really gets me out of my head. I typically stay anxious and worried, just in a new scenery (in front of the couch in a groutfit, half paying attention to my show, half freaking out). Do what works for you, but really try pick something you love that will allow you to shift your focus away from your anxiety.
Those are just a few things that have helped me when I feel like I’m drowning in my thoughts. It never really looks the same. Somedays I don’t want to speak to anyone and would rather just step onto my yoga mat. Sometimes I ground myself with a few deep breaths and I feel ok again. Other times I have to call my mom immediately. On Monday, I forced myself away from my desk for a few minutes to walk outside and go get an iced coffee. Make you a priority. Anxiety is heavy but I don’t want it to rule my life. Put your healing first, whatever that looks like for you. And remember, you’re not alone. I’m right here with you!
Sending love,
Morgan