On Sunday afternoon, I was watching Netflix, feeling happy and relaxed. Then suddenly I had an urge that I should be doing something. I immediately felt like I hadn’t done enough to just sit there and relax, like I hadn’t earned it. I instantly felt bad about myself. I thought there is something I should’ve been doing or something I should’ve accomplished or checked off my to-do list. I imagined everyone I know being way more productive and “hustling” while here I am sitting on my bum just hanging out. Why do we make ourselves feel so guilty for taking time to unwind and decompress?
In reality, that morning I had read 30 pages of a new book, did a 30 minute HIIT workout, showered, made breakfast for Tyler and I, and started a load of laundry. But I was making myself feel crappy. I thought, “maybe I should’ve worked out longer” or “I should go meal prep or clean” or “I should be working on my blog.” Then the thought to “just be” kind of slapped me in the face. Why would I make myself go do things just for the sake of doing them? I already knew that I had time to do a quick meal prep later when I planned to make dinner later on and that I had done a fun workout that felt good in my body, so why was I making myself feel so bad? And heck, even if I hadn’t done those few things that morning, does that mean I don’t deserve to just relax?
“The hustle” and “the grind” have become so glamorized in the media and especially on social media, it make us feel that if we’re not constantly doing something productive then we’re wasting our time or being lazy. If I’m scrolling social media while I’m relaxing sometimes I start to feel bad about myself because it appears that everyone else on Instagram is doing something or working hard. It’s so easy to fall into the illusion that being a “Boss Babe,” or just a hard worker in general, means having to work and be productive 24/7. In reality, truly being a Boss Babe is recognizing when you need to slow down, take time to spend with your loved ones or take time to decompress alone. Trying to spend every minute in hustle mode will only lead to burn out. When we don’t take time to rest we become tired, overworked, irritable, stressed and generally unhappy.
It may sound trivial but I’m proud of myself for resisting the urge to jump up and be “productive.” What was really productive for me at that time was taking time to be still and simply watch a movie with my boyfriend. Throughout the last week, I had felt a little frazzled, having different things to do and places to be every night of the week, and I was craving relaxation. If I wouldn’t have taken that time on Sunday to unwind, I would’ve brought stressed out energy with me into this week. I felt myself becoming much more irritable last week when I had to hop from commitment to commitment when I really just wanted time to read, maybe write a little and watch “This Is Us.” So when the opportunity to slow down finally presents itself, we need to honor that space and not make ourselves feel guilty about it.If you read this post, you know that anxiety doesn’t help these feelings so we must actively make a choice to combat the anxiety and pressure we put on ourselves.
Your worth is not based on how much you can accomplish in a day or how hard you hustle. Although the pressure to go faster and do more is all around us, there are precious moments in the quiet time. On Sunday it looked like saying, “you can wait” to chores and things that I could do around the house and saying yes to spending time watching a funny movie with my boyfriend who I didn’t get to spend time with this week. While the hustle and the grind may be necessary in a certain time and place (like it was for me during the week), we must also take time place value on the other things that don’t fall under the “hustle” like reading a book or spending time with loved ones.
Whether you’re really type A or feel outside pressure to always be “getting sh*t done,” I hope that you can identify those little pockets of time to slow down and that you take that time for yourself. We’re not going to always get it right. Maybe sometimes we ignore those cues and overwork ourselves but that’s life. I’m learning right along side you. We’re never going to get it perfect because perfection isn’t truly attainable. All that we can ask ourselves to do is show up each day and make an effort to listen to our bodies and our hearts. When we tune out the outside chatter, it’s so much easier to tune into what we truly need. So when you hear that voice calling to you, drop the guilt, let go of the hustle for the moment, take a deep breath and just be.
x,
Morgan