As an introvert, I find myself observing quite often — the way people interact, body language and the things around me. Sometimes my family will say, “Morg, you’re being so serious.” But it’s the quiet, anxious, Scorpio in me that is constantly taking it all in and processing (read: over-analyzing). Since I find myself in the role of the observer quite often, I’ve noticed that I really pick up on the energy of those around me. If someone is putting up a good front, I can tell when something is off or if they are upset. I sense anger, hostility and disinterest. And I can tell when an extremely positive person enters a space. Now I don’t mean that I have some sixth sense or innate skill, I think it just comes with the territory of being a generally quiet person.
Lately I’ve become really interested in energy and how it affects the room, interactions and demeanor . We all have that one person in our lives who is always super kind, positive and upbeat. When they step into a space the air seems a little lighter, people gravitate towards them and more smiles are shown. My Aunt Mare was a lot like that. When someone we know has a negative, “Debbie downer” demeanor, you may notice those around them become more serious, or are more likely to begin griping and complaining. No matter what situation we are in, our energy and the energy around us affects how we act, feel and speak. If we thought about how our energy impacted those around us, would we be more likely to take a step back and access what we are bringing to those around us?
Last night, I was listening to Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations podcast. She interviewed neuroanatomist, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. Dr. Taylor suffered from a stroke at age 37. She recalls being in the hospital, having lost her memory and being unable to speak or understand what those around her were saying. She compared it to being like an infant, and all she really understood was the energy of those who came into her hospital room. She recalls her neurologist’s kindness and patience and how she looked her in the eye when she spoke to her even though she was unable to communicate with her. She shares about feeling the rushed energy of certain nurses and doctors who were just there to get their task done and being able to pick up on their rushed, “I just want to get this over with” energy. She couldn’t communicate those around her, remember who she was or speak; the only thing she was able to interpret energy.
Dr. Taylor writes in her book, My Stroke of Insight,“I really need people to take responsibility for the kind of energy they bring to me.” Wow. That’s powerful stuff. If we all begin to take responsibility for the energy that we bring home, to work, to a meeting, in a trying situation, to our families, we would probably all begin to be a little more mindful. I know that we’re only human and we’re going to mess up. But just think about how that shift could brighten the lives of those of each person we come into contact with.
In the podcast, Dr. Taylor explains that when we become angry or frustrated, that anger can be released from the body in 90 seconds. If it is lasting longer than that, it is because we are consciously harboring it, unable to let go. Personally, I need to adopt this 90 second model. I let silly things frustrate me for far too long. The other day, a friend told me that I have a calming energy, but that’s not the case all of the time. I get annoyed when traffic makes me late, when I have to work with someone who is difficult or because I spilled my coffee all over my dress that I just got dry cleaned. We’ve all been there. But I think it is so, so important that we access ourselves and take a deep breath before we bring that negative energy into a space. Do my coworkers really need to hear my complaining and negativity over the highway closure first thing in the morning? Probably not. Does my boyfriend want me to be short with him because I had a frustrating day at work? I’m going to guess no. And we must truly let it go. If we don’t actually release it and just carry on with a front, others will still sense our energy.
Negativity is only going to breed more negativity. During hard times, which, let’s be real, usually even aren’t that bad, I need to learn when to let go. In the moment I just feel annoyed, but when I begin to shift my mindset into seeing that I’m only bringing down those around me, it completely changes the game. I don’t want my family and friends to feel down because I relayed my energy onto them. When I go into a space, I want people to smile more. I want to be a light. I want my loved ones to feel my calm and peaceful energy. It is both a privilege and a huge responsibility to be able to affect those around us the way that our energy does. I’m going to challenge myself to let any anger that surfaces go after those 90 seconds and come back to that place of love just to make the lives of those around me even just the littlest bit easier.
Sending you lots of love.
x,
Morgan