Reflecting on 23

Another year around the sun has come and gone. Time is such a funny thing to me. It seems abstract — days feel long while the years just seem to fly by. Reflecting on my 23rd birthday, it seems like forever ago yet just a few days ago at the same time. Today, I turn 24 and truly could not feel more blessed for these last 24 years on earth. I know that time is precious. Age is not something to be feared but a privilege that not everyone gets to experience. With the recent shootings across our nation, I feel especially grateful to be here. To spend days laughing with family and friends, to have a job, a home, to teach yoga. To take long walks, to read great books, to bake. The big things and the little, everyday things are not something to be taken for granted.

This past year has been one of growth, challenge and learning. I taught my first yoga class with shaking hands, trying so hard to sound confident. Although I was nervous beyond belief  during that nerve-wracking first class, I knew it felt right. I knew I belonged in the studio, not only instructing poses but offering kind words, affirmations and love. If my students can stand on their head because of my class, that’s great but if they leave feeling even just a little bit more love for themselves, that’s magic. This past year of teaching has brought me so much joy. I’ve connected with students, felt on cloud 9, felt like class has been a flop and everything in between, but each time I showed up and did my best. I’m proud of my introverted, type-A self for putting myself out there and teaching a group of people, sometimes strangers and sometimes friends. I never knew that being vulnerable enough to speak to and teach to a group of people for an hour could bring me so much happiness.

This year I was blessed to travel internationally. My first trip was a work trip to London and I decided to leave a few days early to explore the city on my own. It was my first solo international trip and I was so nervous! With my sense of direction, thank God the folks there speak English is all I have to say. I was nervous that I would feel lonely or look like a weirdo doing tourist things by myself but my days were so fulfilling. I had no phone service aside from at my Airbnb so I was completely disconnected. This trip taught me the importance of looking up — turning my phone off, being fully present, taking in all of the beauty and exquisite architecture around me. I felt like I was living in a dream amongst the stunning buildings, amazing history and charm. I ate in (sit down!) restaurants, toured Westminster, strolled around the city, ate Macaroons, found a lovely yoga studio and navigated the Tube…all by myself! This may sound trivial but with my anxiety it was a big deal. I have a lot more confidence in myself and found a deeper love for having experiences alone.

My family also took our first international trip to Europe, traveling to Germany, Spain and Italy for two weeks. And we all came back still loving each other — nothing short of a miracle! Experiencing new cultures, food and adventures together for the first time as a family is something I will always cherish. The pictures we brought home are beautiful but the memories are even richer. We met so many kind, giving people who had no problem pointing the American tourists in the right direction and genuinely wanted to help. We learned how lovely it is to slow down — something very foreign in the U.S. We took our time to sit down and eat each meal together, sip on coffee (or beer 🙂 ) and just talk with one another. We had no phones to worry about or emails to check and we laughed so much. This year I’ve seen the love in showing up to the table, breaking bread and being present. I know this is one thing I want more of in my life. Although we can’t wait to go back, we are all happy to be home, having survived our father driving through Europe (thank you, Jesus).

This year I found a deeper importance for having strong women in my life. I have always had some amazing female role models — my mom, my grandmoms, my Aunt Mare. I have looked up to them in reverence and in awe — making others feel at home in seconds, giving endlessly, finding humor and light in every situation. I’ve always known I wanted to be like them. This past year, I’ve found additional female role models like authors Glennon Doyle (Love Warrior), Shauna Niequist (Present Over Perfect) and Jen Hatmaker (Of Mess and Moxie). Their books provide truth, beauty and hope — passages I read again and again. They’re honest and real, always able to reflect on seasons of hardship with grace, love and forgiveness. Their books have taught me the importance of showing up for others — we may not know the best way to help a loved one but all that matters is that you show up, letting them know you are there and you see them. They’ve reminded me that what really matters in life are the basics — family, friendship, faith, slowing down, breaking bread. The good things in life don’t have a price tag and aren’t seen in an Instagram post. They’re in front of us and all around us, sometimes we just need a gentle reminder.

This year I’ve laughed, cried, traveled, sweat, OMed, prayed, made mistakes and learned. I took a leap of faith and did something I always wanted to do — launch a blog! (You can read why I decided to start my blog here.) I’m looking back on my 23rd year with love and gratitude and am buzzing with excitement for what 24 will bring. I don’t have any concrete “goals” for this year, I just hope to love deeper, give more, stress less, live presently and let the little stuff go. Here’s to another beautiful year. I can’t wait to continue to share what I learn with you and am so grateful you spent your precious time reading this. Here I come, 24!