I’ve been reading a lot of posts regarding Mental Health Awareness Month. It’s really refreshing for me to see how many more folks are talking about it and working to de-stigmatize mental health. It’s got me thinking about where I would be if I let anxiety rule my life. This is not to say I don’t still struggle with anxiety because I do, but I put up an active fight against it everyday. Each day I do my best, and with time, it gets easier as I learn how to best cope with my feelings and gain the tools I need to handle them in a healthy way.
No one chooses to be anxious. It can come on hard and strong, and can feel debilitating. While the emotions that wash over you may be out of your control, the fight against your anxiety is not. You have to be your biggest advocate. I cannot state this enough. The people in your life are not mind readers, so when you’re in a struggling place, those around you may not even notice it because odds are you do a pretty nice job concealing it. You can’t wait for someone to tap you on the shoulder and say, “are you doing okay?” You have to be courageous enough to take the first step for help.
Maybe you just need to get it off your chest and talk to a family member or friend about what you’re feeling. Maybe it’s finally time to go to a therapist (highly recommend). Maybe the therapy doesn’t feel like enough, and you need to talk to your doctor about medication — do it. Advocate for yourself. These conversations are not going to be easy to start, but they are necessary to begin healing.
The work doesn’t end with these important conversations. They are the first step on a journey that you show up to everyday and decide how you are going to do your best to not let the beast of anxiety rule your day-to day life. You have to push against the doubts and sometimes force yourself out of your comfort zone. There are so many times each week when I simply have to say to myself, “stop thinking and just do it.” It may sound like I’m simplifying it, but I know how hard that can be.
So what would my life look like today if I let anxiety rule my life? A few examples:
- I wouldn’t be a yoga teacher. I have never enjoyed public speaking. I love yoga and I love sharing my thoughts through written words. But standing up in front of a whole room of people, guiding them through a yoga sequence AND inspiring them through my own vulnerability sounded terrible to me. But I loved the practice so much, I knew I felt called to share it. Before I could let my anxiety push me down, I signed up for teacher training. After teacher training, I signed up to audition to teach by filling out the online form as quickly as possible and pressing send so there was no going back. With every doubt, push forward.
- I wouldn’t have started this blog. To be frank, it took me SO long to actually press publish on this website. I worked on it for so long but I was scared that everyone would think it was dumb or that it sucked. I let those thoughts rule me for awhile but then I had finally had enough. It was either do it or let fear win, so I did it. It’s not easy for me to so vulnerable or open in posts such as this one, but it means a lot to me. If one hundred people think it’s stupid but one person feels like it helped them, then I am okay with it.
- I wouldn’t have gotten a new job that I love. Some of you may know that about a month and a half ago I started a new job. I had been with my last company since I was an intern, and I was comfortable there. Comfortable but knew I needed a change. I had so many doubts and worries going into a new company. Will I like the team? Will they like me? What if I regret it? What if this is a mistake? You can’t let those questions keep you paralyzed. If you have that gut feeling that’s telling you to make a change, listen. Making the change was so great for me and I feel like I found my perfect fit in my new role.
I could go on and on about this topic, but I hope providing some examples of how great things can be when you don’t let anxiety take charge of your life is helpful to you. I am certainly not perfect. There have been plenty of times when I allowed my anxiety to keep me in one lane and I didn’t give myself a chance to grow. I am continuously learning and evolving, and simply trying to do my best every day. I know you are too.
Sending love,
Morgan