I write this as I am full from some delicious pizza and chocolate chip cookies — talk about enjoying the love this Valentine’s Day. Tyler is out of town for his new job orientation (yay!) but that means I spent this V Day alone. We made time to FaceTime and catch up but other than that it was a pretty low key day that involved good eats and sappy TV shows. Even though I didn’t get to see my #bae 😉 I still felt super loved today — from my man, my family (my mom texted us the song “You Are My Sunshine” because she’s adorable) and the universe. I mean, I found parking spots within seconds at two places that typically take foreverrrr (the mall and my house), so it’s safe to say I really felt all of the loving vibes today.
Tuesday was Galentine’s Day. Apparently everyone besides me knew this, but although my best gals don’t live close by, I feel so lucky to have them in my life. Some people are really annoyed by Valentine’s Day, but I have to admit, I felt really mushy about all of the loving posts I saw all over social media. Whether they were about loving family or a significant other, it really gave me all the feels to see that so many people in my life are happy and loved. Maybe it’s because I’m so happy in my relationship and so much happier in my relationship with myself, but regardless I was loving all of the love. Amidst all of this mushiness, I really got to thinking about when I really starting loving myself and appreciating the person I am. If you read my yoga journey, you won’t be surprised to hear it really started when I began yoga. I learned to be more present, to respect my body, to tap into my strength and just let all the crap that isn’t serving me go. It is a journey, one that I have a long way to go on, but I wanted to share some of the things yoga has taught me about loving myself.
“Messing up” is a normal part of the practice
You’ve probably heard it a million times before, “It’s life. We all make mistakes.” It’s cliche, but it’s true. I mess up everyday. Every single day. Sometimes I drive too fast, I’m impatient with those around me, or I talk negatively to myself. I never have a day where I am “perfect,” (that’s not even a thing). And I never have a yoga practice that is “perfect” either. Sometimes my whole body feels achey or tight. Sometimes I’m in the zone of a beautiful practice and I randomly completely fall out of a balancing posture or a pose that normally comes easily feels beyond challenging. There’s always a different obstacle each class and everyday I live my life. It doesn’t mean I love yoga or myself any less, it just means I have room to grow. I want to grow into a stronger yogi and I want to become a kinder, more patient and loving person, but that can only happen when we show up day after day. We notice these things and then we go on, taking steps backwards and slowly moving forward. We become more of the person and yogi we are meant to be each day, and messing up is a difficult and beautiful part of that process.
It doesn’t matter what the people around you are doing
In yoga and in life, it’s easy to get side tracked by what those around you are doing. Unfortunately I fall into the comparison trap more than I’d like to. I compare myself to others around me by things I can’t even really measure — someone seems to be more successful, or more in shape or has more degrees or has traveled more. I compare myself by placing assumptions on people I barely know but just see through my iPhone screen. It creates negative energy, is hurtful to myself and isn’t going to get me any closer to my goals or the person that I want to be. Sometimes in yoga I feel really strong in my practice, and then the girl next to me easily presses into a handstand and it’s like I shrink down into myself. Just because the person next to me is doing something I can’t, doesn’t make my practice any lesser. I don’t feel angry at those I’m comparing myself to, all I’m really doing is putting myself down. Yoga has shown me to let go of the negative self talk and to stay fully present on my mat. To let go of what those around me are doing and to tune into my own body and breath. It has helped me let go of the pressure to compare and stay focused on all that I am instead of what I am not.
You’re stronger than you know
In each of our lives there have been things that have come our way that we had no idea how we we’re going to make it through. Heart ache, loss, anxiety, depression — we all carry our own burdens. You’ve been to depths that seemed impossible to climb out of. But you did. Here you are. You’ve made it through the worst times and you’re still here, rough edges, deep scars and all. But ultimately stronger and more resilient than you knew possible. Although what you move through on a yoga mat isn’t as intense as what you face in your life, you learn to tap into your strength and believe in yourself. Poses that once seemed completely unattainable begin to feel easier and the next thing you know you’re doing it. You don’t even know how it really happened but you pushed through and did it. Maybe quieting your mind seems impossible but day by day, practice by practice you’ve gotten a lit bit better at it. You are growing everyday both physically on your mat and emotionally in your day-to-day.
Making time for quiet moments
Tuning out the outside world isn’t easy in this age of technology and immediate communication. I’ve said this so many times, but no cellphones is seriously one of my favorite parts of going to yoga. I can completely disconnect and tune into how my body feels. Our lives are so go, go, go and full of so many opportunities but quiet time is imperative in finding self love. We need to come back to what it’s like to just spend time with ourselves. In a 60 minute yoga class you don’t have to speak, check email or tackle anything on your to-do list…and it’s glorious. I find deep thoughts and feelings arise during class because after a hectic day, it’s usually the first time I’m turning everything else off and checking in with myself. And then the bliss of savasana is the just the loveliest. You are actually instructed to lay there, close your eyes and do absolutely nothing!! Sweet moments of stillness and silence make it much easier to come back to a place of self love.
Self love is never truly obtained; it’s a constant ebb and flow, you progress and regress. Yoga is not the answer to all of your self love needs, but it sure is one beautiful way to help you find some of that peace and appreciation. Whether you have a Valentine and/or a bunch of Galentines, self love is always the most important. I was listening to the Super Soul Conversations podcast today and heard Mindy Kaling say, “You can’t say, ‘I love you’ before you can say ‘I.'” That really says it all to me. Love yourself so, so much. Be #extra with the love because you deserve it.
Sending you lots of love.
x,
Morgan